Let me guess, you think you have the most embarrassing college story out there? Well, sorry to break it to you bud, but you are not alone. The fact is, nearly every college student in the nation thinks that they have the most embarrassing story, but they don’t. Our job was to do some research, find the best top ten, then, of course, report them to you. Reader’s discretion is advised.
1. The Night (And Morning) Where Nothing Could Have Gone Worse.
“It was the week before my sorority’s recruitment, so all members had to be dry (AKA we couldn’t drink any alcohol). Naturally, I chose this opportunity to get the drunkest I’ve ever been in my entire college career. It all started innocently enough at my house. Me and some of the other girls who wanted to low-key drink decided to have a couple casual glasses of wine on the porch. This turned into casually polishing off more than a couple of bottles. This turned into going to our guy friends house to have a couple beers. This then turned into having more than a couple whiskey handle pulls. Next thing I know, I wake up in the side yard of a house I don’t recognize, and the sun is coming up. Oh, and I was squatting, and had shit and pissed myself. Obviously, I begin to freak out and look for my phone and purse. My phone is dead, and my purse is nowhere to be found. As I stand up to begin walking around, I realize that I have no idea where I am. I keep walking, and finally recognize a car dealership, which is at least a mile from my house. I start running, eventually find my house, and contemplated what the hell I was doing with my life.”
2. The Cesar Chavez Bar Collapse.
“It was Cesar Chavez weekend, AKA an excuse to get completely wasted, wear sombreros, and day drink. One of the frats we hang out with had a huge backyard party and went all out with the decorations. It was one of the biggest parties of the spring semester, so obviously anyone who was relevant was there. One of the dopest things about the party was there was an open bar, and the bar was a huge, handmade, wooden piece of art. Something straight out of a Mexican resort (so totally Americanized though, of course). About halfway through the party, the booze ran out, so the drunkest girls at the party decided to hop on top of the bar and start dancing like we were in a club during a Jersey Shore episode. And, well, I was definitely one of those girls. Well, I guess the handcrafted frat bar we felt comfortable enough getting greedy on wasn’t ready to hold up ten girls getting freaky, so it collapsed. Like, every single piece of wood in that goddamn thing splintered- all at once. What was left in the ruins was ten girls, bruised, bleeding, and utterly embarrassed. I’m not kidding when I say at least 250 people at this party saw this happen. One girl had the ambulance called on her because she cracked her head open. Needless to say, the only bars safe enough to be danced on will most likely not be at a frat party.”
3. Every Girl’s Worst Nightmare.
“Over summer, a big group of our guy and girl friends went to Lake Tahoe for a few days. We rented a huge cabin right on the water, brought a ton of booze, and buckled down for an epic summer trip. The first day, I blacked out super hard and was passed out by 5 pm. I finally woke up at 3 am, completely confused and still very drunk. My stomach felt like I ate bad sushi and Mexican food at the same time, so I sprinted to the bathroom. Feeling comfortable since everyone was sleeping, and no one would know it was me, I unleashed the gnarliest shit of my entire life. I blew up the bathroom for an unspeakable amount of time, and my body was making sounds that didn’t sound human. I took my sweet time, again assuming that everyone was asleep. When I finally finished, I walked out to see the guy I used to hook up with standing outside the door waiting for his turn. We exchanged awkward looks, didn’t even say a word to each other, and he entered the horror. You see, he had showed up while I was passed out, so I had no idea he was even there until that very moment. Needless to say, it was the most embarrassed I’ve ever been in my entire life.
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